Beyond the Change: Moira Geary's Menopause Journey

Today on the Menopause Uprising Podcast we are talking to Moira Geary. Moria is the leading light and mentor for a new emerging wave of Freedom Seekers. The author of Wake Up and Change Your Life, the creator of the online Wealthy Minds program and the flagship certification program Quantum Thinking Technologies. Moira has worked with thousands of people to help them 'recombobulate' and live the good life they deserve.

Moria is a ray of light and her journey through menopause is truly inspirational.

To learn more about Moria click HERE

Transcript -Automatically Generated
Welcome to Menopause Uprising with me, your host, Catherine O'Keeffe, a lovely episode ahead. I'm chatting to my lovely friend, Moira Geary, and we're talking all about Moira's experience of menopause, her thoughts on menopause, and also what we can do to look after ourselves in these years and to be mindful of our confidence as we go through menopause.

So Moira, we were chatting before and obviously talking about the ups and downs. The, the rollercoaster ride that is menopause. But just for everyone listening, would you like to just share? your, some of your own insights into your experience of menopause. I will absolutely Catherine. And, uh, I suppose when, when I was going through menopause, I, of course there wasn't such a wide conversation, first of all.

So, um, I probably wasn't as aware because obviously knowledge is the most important thing. And when we're aware of something, then, you know, we can apply it to ourselves. So I probably wasn't as aware as, um, you know, I would be if I was going through it now, thanks to yourself and other people that are that are speaking about it.

So I suppose I went through it thinking that I was okay. Um, but the main things, I mean, obviously were hot flushes, which were very uncomfortable and you know, that, that, you know, I also would have got that. Little feeling of, um, a rush of anxiety coming. Now, what I also noticed with that was that I managed that quite well, but I talk about that in a couple of moments.

So there was that. And then, um, there were lots of other little things. But as I say, I wasn't aware. However, when I went to the menopause summit and spoke on at your summit and then listen to everybody that came in with all of the information that I was going, Oh, my God. I actually had that, and I had that, and I had this.

So brain fog, I didn't really know what brain fog was. Um, those little bursts of anxiety, those little things for a couple of moments that, that I'd feel an anxiety feeling coming on, because I had, had a huge, um, anxiety, Section in my life of about four years where it was very intense and it was there every day that was, that was way before menopause.

And I believe, and I know that, you know, Diane that was speaking that day as well would have said the same and as a psychotherapist, she would have said it too. And, you know, I've worked in, in the personal development space and done a master's in psychotherapy. So I truly believe this also, that if we have.

Undone a lot of layers of the onion of a lot of stuff that, um, the baggage from, we'll say earlier years or whatever. I do think that does help with the transition through menopause. Definitely. So even though I felt like an anxiety feeling was coming on, I felt I could manage that really well. So that's, I think that's really, really important.

I mean, I know that's probably a bit late to be saying that to people now that they're in the middle of menopause. However, I do think it's something that's very important to be addressed. If there is. anxiety going on, don't just say, Oh, that's because I'm going through menopause. It can be, but also it can be if you have some, you know, um, talk therapy or some way of, of, of working through that.

I really believe that that can help. So other things then for me would have been, um, as I say, the brain fog, um, tiredness, another thing I found. And looking back on it now, I'm thinking, Oh my God, that's what was going on. Um, almost like, and we laugh when I say this, that I found a lot of situations very peoply.

So in other words, I found, even though I'm very outgoing, I'm, I'm was very, very, um, comfortable in, like in, in relation to my work, I was still out there. I was still in front of people. I was still running events. So it was around a lot of people. However, I felt very depleted after that. So I had to. Spend a lot of time recovering after that.

And, um, I might spend maybe five or six days on my own. As in just to kind of, you know, hide away and replenish. And I definitely felt, um, a sense of kind of loneliness when that happened as well. And, um, and a very sort of a low, a low mood around it. Um, so that was, that was, Looking back on that now, that actually was probably menopausal.

I wasn't coping with that very well, but I didn't see it as, I didn't know what it was. Um, and really if I just had reached out to friends or reached out to other people, or even just recognized that it was normal, then I definitely would have done something with that. That was probably one of the biggest things for me, to be honest.

Um, I found that, that, that quite difficult. Um, in relation to, um, I again is speaking to some of my sisters because we're all kind of around the same age. They would have said the same thing. It's that thing of not knowing and then noticing that there were a lot of small things that kind of piled up.

That really was was mainly what it was for me, to be honest. And also when I started the menopause, I went into a kind of a panic because I suddenly thought, that's it, life's over. You know, I'm now barren. That's the end of it. It's winding down. And I really didn't understand that. You know, it's it's it's a chapter.

Um, and now after, you know, going, going through a lot of it, and I obviously hope I have lots more years to live, but it has been probably one of the most enjoying or the most, one of the most, oh, how will I put it? Um, a lot of people say it's because when you get older, you get wiser, but there is a lot of wisdom in it.

Um, there definitely is a lot of wisdom in being in, you know, in the menopause and taking time to kind of look back on your life and have a look at that, but it was, it actually has been a very fulfilling. period of in my life, looking back on it, however, going through it. Yeah. You know, as I say, if I knew more, I think I'd have been, I would have embraced it better.

Do you think when you say fulfilling more, do you think there's the growth? Do you, because when I think of my menopause experience and I'm still, I, I'm, I haven't hit menopause itself yet, but for me, it's been tremendous growth. And I would say that from perimenopause all the way through. Absolutely. On so many levels.

So, um, emotionally, physically, you know, um, Even for some people, probably spiritually, but, but definitely, um, and, and also in terms of our wisdom and our understanding and, and, um, uh, how we relate to other people and how we relate to ourselves. 100%. I absolutely agree with you. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a huge wisdom in it.

And some people say it's just maybe sometimes when you get, when you get that little bit older and you get more mature that you don't, you know, put up with nonsense from other people as much and all that. Yeah, that's part of it, but also it's, it's, it's also just, you know, you're kind of coming into yourself and you're becoming very comfortable with yourself as you're coming out the other end of it.

I know going through it is not necessarily what you're feeling, but I do think that coming out the other end of it. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you touched on, I mean, you've touched on a lot of the symptoms that, you know, many of us will have experienced at different stages. And I think one part of it, just to bring us back to when, um, you did an amazing session at the Menopause Success Summit in Cork.

When we talk about that in relation to, you know, The psychological aspects of menopause and you know, you were saying there about when something comes up that maybe hasn't been processed through the body. And that is so important because we know now, and yes, definitely it's an area that needs more research, but we do know that past trauma and bearing in mind, trauma can be very different for all, for every person.

But if that hasn't been processed through the body, it's very likely that that will come back in the menopause years so that you process it through. And I think for many people that can be the, that kind of that key that unlocks that transformative aspect of menopause. Once you, obviously, as you mentioned yourself, if you're using talk to therapy, you get the support that that you need.

Yeah. And also to know it's normal. Yeah, yeah. The relief in that. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I think to also, we have to be very mindful of, you know, the spectrum or the, you know, there's almost like a continuum of what when the way I would describe it in relation to anxiety and at the very, you know, High end or low end of it or the destructive end of it would be like having a generalized anxiety disorder or an actual clinically diagnosed disorder.

And then there's the other end where we feel a bit anxious or we're not coping. So I think people, you know, like, it's important that we kind of talk about that rather than just, you know, we often use the word anxiety very willy nilly. And then somebody that's feeling anxious on whatever level, that's their definition.

And when they're listening to somebody else, they probably subconsciously believe that That the other person is feeling the same way, but it could be something much, much worse, or it could be something, um, that is much more manageable. So I think that that's another thing that's, that's important. If somebody is feeling something like that, that they're clear on, on actually describing.

what level they're feeling it at, you know, that's, that's very, very important. Yeah, very true. Yeah. Cause again, there's like, um, you know, you can feel a bit anxious going onto the motorway. You can feel anxious in social situations. You can feel anxious going into a meeting and work, maybe doing a presentation at work.

There's so many varying degrees of it, isn't there? Yeah. And also, um, it's perfectly normal in a lot of those situations. situations like going to do a presentation at work. It would be normal that anybody, even who, somebody who is very, very, um, emotionally regulated, that they will feel a little sense of that factor of like going into a presentation.

And the reason for that is because we have an autonomic nervous system and that's what it's supposed to do. It's supposed to kind of keep us alert in situations where there might be threats and in the, you know, the situation at work, if you're going to do a presentation, the threat is that. What if I make a mistake with people, you know, laugh at me, think, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Um, will I be found out that the imposter syndrome, um, or would people start yawning or whatever it is. So that's normal. However, if it's an, uh, you know, um, uh, an anxious response that is unreasonable related to the situation, then that would most likely be related more to something Like something from the past and even again, you know us using the word traumas again, you know, people need to be clear on their definition of what a trauma is a lot of people would say that, you know, and I would say to that a lot of what we go through naturally and normally and, you know, upsets and disappointments and all those things, you know, some people would define those as traumas and others would say that it actually has to be something quite big.

You know, it might be that somebody had some sort of, you know, maybe been intensely bullied or, you know, that they're bigger trying again, we need to be kind of. You know, a bit discerning about what we mean by those words, but to be honest, any what I call significant emotional event that would have happened in the past, that would be something that would, um, embed the feeling of not feeling safe.

So again, it could trigger a feeling of anxiety on some level, depending on whatever level of anxiety that is. All right. Yeah, I love that Moira, a significant emotional event because that is, I mean, like you say that the word trauma is so complex and it's loaded. So it's kind of just, yeah, no, that's, that's, uh, I love that.

It's really powerful. If we look at, so let's say I did a menopause in the workplace survey and one of the key symptoms that women reported as impacting in their work day. Okay. Was confidence. Now, I know this is an area you do Trojan work in, in relation to, you know, at all stages of people's lives, but what do you think when we look at menopause and obviously it's tying into the anxiety piece and everything, but what are your thoughts in relation to the confidence dip that happens for so many people in these years?

Well, it could be because there's chemical changes in the body and hormonal changes in the body. I mean, obviously that, that does have a huge impact on us and how we, how we process physically and emotionally. I mean, even down to if just for anybody that's not familiar with hormones outside of menopause, if you think of something like, um, a dope being hit, we get that from, um, Um, you know, something like, uh, I know that maybe a lot of your listeners aren't, don't play PlayStation, but if you think of PlayStation Angry Birds, those kind of things, you know, when you get that, that sudden win, then you get a bit of a dopamine hit.

And, and that's what that, that is. If you get a fright, you get a feeling of jitters in your body and, um, you might get a little bit of, uh, butterflies in your tummy when you get excited. All of those hormonal reactions do have a physical impact on our body. So it's just important for people to recognize and to know that, because then once you start becoming aware, you can then start to notice, Oh, I wonder when does that happen?

Or at what point does it happen? Or, What needed to happen for me to feel like that. So, so that would be just the first thing. So, um, and again, going back to a experiences that might be significant emotional events from the past or people that might be feeling a level of anxiety on some level again, whether that's not coping, et cetera.

Um, all of that will impact our confidence and whether you're going into menopause or not, but then you've the added piece in menopause with the emotion, the hormonal disturbances. And also all the other symptoms. So somebody might be really uncomfortable with the fact that they're having hot blushes.

Somebody might be really worried that they're not going to remember a word because they've got brain fog. Um, and again, the, the fallout from that in our subconscious mind is fear of being seen. to not know our stuff or fear of being of, you know, standing at a presentation or even giving a direction to somebody at work or needed to make a decision and then second guessing ourselves and things like that.

So, so it can, it can really turn up in, in any, any format going through the menopause. But I just feel that women are that bit. We're not that, that bit quite a lot more vulnerable to the possibility of. Their confidence being a little bit lower, um, or a big bit lower while they're going through menopause.

Yeah, it can. But again, the conversation is so important, Catherine, and the fact that you're, you're, you're having these conversations is just amazing because even that in itself, and sorry not to cut across you there, but even having these conversations allows women to know that they're not going crazy, that they're not alone, that it's not just them, that this is actually very normal.

Within the whole realm of the menopause. Yeah. Yeah. No, and that is powerful. Like I would, when, you know, when I started off doing talks around the country years ago, Moira, like I would have spoken to women about kind of the symptoms of menopause. And so many, so many would have said, just like you did. They never connected.

They never realized. But what they did say is that they left that room feeling there was a weight lifted off them because now they actually realized they weren't on their own. Everybody else in the room was nodding their head saying, yeah, that's me. And everyone was having somewhat similar, but you know, different experiences.

And I think having that awareness is very powerful. I, I, I, I like your analogy with the PlayStation. I think the majority person. For me myself, and I know many of my listeners, it's the challenges of getting our kids off the playstation. But you might understand why they get addicted to it, because they're in that constant dopamine hit.

Yeah, and totally, and I think, God, I would see at home with my boys, there's some games that really encourage that dopamine hit more so than others. And it's, it's, it's It is, it is a huge challenge and maybe for your listeners, um, rather than the PlayStation, um, the extra glass of wine at night or the, you know, that kind of thing too, there is a bit of a dopamine hit from that, or, you know, the dopamine hit that you get from pleasure from different foods.

Or other different activities as well, you know, whatever they are, but an activity that there's nothing wrong with a lot of them unless they become destructive. And then there is something wrong with them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, yeah, it's just, it's kind of, that is back to looking at the daily habits and, you know, trying to instill good habits.

But I think that is really. powerful to be able to understand the hormonal reactions in the body and how that leads, leads on to the physical. And if we look, let's just, let's just take a really, um, practical example. So let's say we have a woman in the workplace who's experiencing the number one symptom of menopause, which is brain fog.

Now that could just be brain fog on its own, or it might be because sleep is impacted, exhaustion, et cetera. And that starts to creep in, in relation to, as you just mentioned, you're nervous in work, in a meeting that you might forget information, or even just going about your daily job that you might forget information.

Is there any kind of, you know, what kind of top tips would you give to someone in that scenario that they can just kind of bring themselves through it comfortably? Yeah, um, I, I'll give you, it's kind of a modification of a technique I know that you know, because I've taught it to your, to your, um, to your people before, um, but it's really important to understand that when we start thinking about something, so like that, if we're thinking that we're going to go into a meeting and there might be something, you know, where there might be a bit of brain fog, or it might be that somebody would be embarrassed if they had a hot flush, or it could be anything, Part of or symptom of, of menopause, or it could be that they believe that their confidence has been knocked.

That's another thing that there's a belief of, Oh my God, I'm not as confident as I was. Cause that actually can be very, very destructive as well. So when, what happens and it's a natural thing that our subconscious will do because the, the, the really driving force of our subconscious is to protect us and to keep us safe.

So when it's trying to keep us safe, what it'll do is it'll keep. Talking about that thing in our focus will be on that thing in our head, which kind of sounds like it makes sense. So if we focus on it, then we'll be able to protect ourselves from, you know, be able to catch the balls or mind ourselves.

However, when we do that, we're doing what we call a convergent focus. So it's really focused in and, and convergent focus is very powerful when we're trying to solve, solve issues or create, um, you know, pros and cons or work something out. for being analytical about something. However, when we get very narrow focused, we just have to remember that what we're focusing on will also have a feeling attached to it.

And if we're really zoning in on how something is going to be a really big problem, like I could have brain fog, or I could have a hot flush, or I could, um, I don't believe in myself. I've, I've lost my confidence. And if that's what we're really focusing in on, what's going to happen is we're going to have to have.

An emotional response in our body related to that thought or those thoughts. And often what people can do is they can ruminate a lot over it or they can catastrophize. So in other words, they can build it up to be a lot bigger than it actually is. And here's the thing. That's perfectly normal. I'm not saying to him, Oh, don't don't not stop catastrophizing because that's not very helpful.

But what? What's happening to also in that, that very convergent focuses is that where it's almost like, that's all we can see, there's nothing, there's nothing else. That's all we can see because it's a very narrow focus. So to do the opposite, which would be to go into what we call a divergent focus, which is a much broader focus and how we do that is like with the black spot.

So you'll, you'll be familiar with that. So. There are so many people in offices all around the country and actually all around the words that I would've taught this to. So I would say to people, it's just to get a piece of cardboard or something and in a circle. So the size of the, the, maybe the, the, the diameter or the circumference of a, of the top of a mug.

So put, put your mug on your piece of paper, draw your circle, and then color it in in black. Put a bit of blue tack on the back of it and stick it up on the wall in front of you so you have your black spot in your office. So anytime you've gone into that, um, convergent focus. Basically what you were doing in your mind without realizing what you're doing is you're really focusing in on the potential problems or issues that could, um, happen, which haven't happened yet, but you're worrying about them.

And what I would say to you is to take that spot, imagine that you have it right up against your, your eyes. So that's all you can see and then move it out and hop it up in the wall. Or once you get used to using it. What you do is you just say to yourself while you're sitting at your desk and say, okay, I'm taking all of this stuff that's in my head and I'm sticking it into the black spot.

And you look at the black spot and we're not, we're not dissing it. We're not saying that it's not important. We're not, you know, we are still acknowledging it because it's something that we need to deal with, but by moving out of it, it actually has, um, an impact on our brainwave patterns and also on our emotional regulation.

So when we're in a better state, emotionally. we can deal with problems in a much better way. So that is the first thing that I would say to people is to push it out and put it on the wall and then notice that In the grand scheme of things in terms of, you know, everything that's going on in your life and your world that when you look at it, look at it out on the wall, it kind of puts what we call a boundary condition around it.

So it puts it into some perspective in relation to. If we look at everything outside of the problem, which is the rest of the world, that really, you know, it's, it puts it into perspective, but still it's real and it's important that we acknowledge it. So that would be the first thing that I always do. I do that for anything where I find that I'm gone into this, this, um, real narrow focus, unless it's something that it's, you know, it's, it's, it's important to be in a narrow focus for a short period of time.

So that hugely will reduce the stress around whatever's going on. And then from there you start looking at, well, how am I going to deal with this? And you can ask yourself lots of questions around that to help you, but if you look outside of the problem, um, that's where you actually find the solutions.

So for somebody that might be feeling, you know, I've lost my confidence or I don't have any confidence. What I say to you is you haven't lost it because you can't lose it because it's part of you. Okay. However, you might have accessed it. A lot recently. You do have it, it's just that you mightn't have accessed it.

And if you're saying to yourself, now because I'm going through menopause, um, I've got brain fog, I, um, can't remember things, I, um, didn't do that very well, or you know, if you're telling yourself all of this stuff, what you're doing is you're focusing on the things that you believe you're not confident around.

So while the spot is on the wall and you're, you're trying to Belief of your lack of confidence is in the spot. What I'd ask people to do is to look outside the spot. So everywhere else on the wall around the room and ask them to find at least 10 things that they've done over the last three or four years that they did with confidence.

Now people say, Oh no, I can't find them. Yes, you can. And how you find them is you ask yourself, what's important to you? So I would say to, let's say people with children, if somebody aggrieved your child or did something that you weren't comfortable with, I know that you would get very confident in what you need to say and how you needed to say it.

And, you know, either stand up for your child or deal with it in, it doesn't have to be the most confident way, but you definitely would be able to access, that's what I was just saying about people don't access their confidence as often. But if you start to notice maybe 10 ways that you actually did access your confidence on whatever level over the last can be three months, six months.

three years, five years. But what we're doing there is we're actually showing our subconscious mind and our brain that we actually do have the ability to be confident still within us and that we have access to it even though we weren't aware of it. And the fact that we've done that, that's even a starting point to show that we actually have confidence in some areas.

Then what you would do is you would Play with that, and well, I would suggest people play. I'm not telling anybody what to do, but to suggest to people to play with that and to, um, not maybe doing it at work might be a little bit of a stretch for people initially, if they're finding that they're quite nervous at work, but start to exercise that confidence muscle in other areas of your life.

Just first to get used to it, get used to the feeling and get used to how you hold your body, what your thought process is and how you are when you're, um, and confidence is very different to arrogance or bullying. So we need to be careful with that as well. Confidence is a very soft energy, but it's also very strong.

It's very strong. And so it's like, I know, cause I know, and I really want to stand by what I believe. That's really a, you know, and these are my reasons why that's the, you know, a lovely energy around confidence. So once we start practicing that a little bit outside maybe of the workplace and then start introducing it into the workplace and in areas where we don't have our biggest fear, but in other areas where we might have other, other, other, like it might be.

Oh, I noticed small things at work that I'm not as confident in now. So I'd say start there. Note the small things and start building your confidence in those areas. And then obviously work up to the bigger ones. And if you're not 100 percent confident in the bigger ones like you used to be before, don't beat yourself up.

That's okay. That's okay. At least you're aware of it and you can work on it. But, you know, sometimes we can get very defeatist when we see that something is a problem for us in one area and it might be quite big. And often people will go, well, that's it now. I just don't have any confidence. I can't do it.

And that's actually not the case. And that's kind of where that rumination kind of loses itself, doesn't it? We make it much bigger than it actually is. I was just thinking here, I'm looking at my wall, I'm looking at my black spot, because I have a black spot, I do. And can I just say, Moira, I find that so powerful.

Whenever I run into, if I'm even trying to make a decision, I'm trying to weigh up pros and cons of something, I do the black spot. And I just find it, I find it just, I find it really grounding, and I find it really, really helpful, just to bring me back and centre me, and also just to, to, to make it just very easy, accessible and practical.

So I would urge anyone to try out that exercise because I certainly, I've used that now, because I think you introduced me to it, it must be three years ago or thereabouts. And, um, I, Found very, very powerful. Um, I just, when you talked, you mentioned there, the confidence muscle. Oh, I love that because isn't it like there's so many aspects of our lives.

Like even we think of our cognitive function, our brain, we've got to keep all these pathways, these muscles alive. Yeah. And that confidence muscle, like everything you say, you can see I'm just nodding my head because I'm just like, because it's, it's, we all feel it going through menopause. We feel that there's a little bit of us being shaved away, particularly around that confidence, particularly I think in the early perimenopause years.

And I think exercising that confidence muscle is so powerful. It's a bit like, Just doing your meditation and your mindfulness, isn't it? It just kind of keeps us on the straight and narrow when it comes to confidence. Absolutely. And you know, like I would say that, you know, when I define myself, I would, I would define myself as a confident person.

However, there are lots of things that I'm not confident in. Loads of them, you know, and I, and I could, I could list them out. First thing is, you know, anything to do with figures or maths. I have no confidence. I have no confidence in so many things, but do I focus on those? No, I accept that that's not my thing.

Um, it's not something, it's not something I particularly, well, it's handy sometimes, but it's not, it's not something that I'm particularly. You know, going to allow that, you know, get to me, um, there are lots of other things that I don't feel confident in that would be really nice and beneficial in my life, but I'm not confident in them.

So I don't define myself as being not confident just because there are a few things because. I suppose it's more, it's more, I look at the things that I feel confident in and I put my focus, if I'm going to do a divergent focus on a black spot up to my face, that could be it. These are the things I am confident in.

Yeah. And I don't notice really the things that I'm not confident in. And yeah, of course, if I was to go into a situation that was around something to do with figures or maths or whatever. Yeah. If there was an expectation that I should know the figures and I won't know them, so I don't feel confident in them.

But years ago, what I would have done is I would have tried to fudge it all and pretend that I knew now. We just say, guys, that's not my thing. Um, so I'm, you know, and even spelling is another thing for me, and I know these are. Bit different to what your women might be feeling in the workplace. But, but spelling would be one thing.

And I do an awful lot of flip charts. Like I know you love the old flip charts. And if I'm up at a flip chart, I mean, I don't allow my lack of confidence in spelling get in the way. What I say to the room is, tell me how to spell. And they love it because they're all engaged. And I'd be saying to them, are you sure that's right now?

Because I won't know. So, you know, it's it's it's also, you know, Getting comfortable with maybe being playful with areas that you, you know, you're not very confident and even like, you know, if you are at a meeting and you're, you know, I mean, so, and I will do this sometimes say guys, I'm really confident this area, this is not the area that, that, that, you know, we can't be good at everything, you know, and sometimes you can be a bit playful with us and that also can break the ice and, um, cause I can guarantee you there is nobody in that room that feels it.

You know, probably is as brave as you are, if you're standing up saying something, you know, everybody. I mean, I know Catherine, I've worked with enough people in the corporate space on one to ones and from the absolute very top to, you know, all the way down through all the management levels, uh, and worked with them one to one meaning that I got a real In depth understanding of how they work.

And I can guarantee you there were people at the very top that are a lot more petrified than people that would be in middle management, or, you know, at a lower level if you don't have to say lower level but at another level that wouldn't be as, as, yeah. Yeah, I don't like, I mean, I totally get that. I mean, if I go back to my own experience, Moira, when I was director in investment banking, I think in, as I was starting Perimenopause, I think anyone would have looked at me and said, Oh, Catherine, Catherine has it nailed.

Catherine's confidence. Catherine is just, you know, she's, she's, she's got it. She's got it all together, but actually that wasn't what was happening inside, particularly as you know, as the brain fog and things like that started to, to happen. And it was, it was that, uh, it definitely was that experience of really stopping myself going down a tunnel of, you mentioned earlier about, um, Not being confident.

And it was literally, I can remember I thought I'd lost it. And I think this is where that's so powerful. What you say my is that you can't lose it. You might just have accessed it. Um, as, as you said for a while. Yeah. That's really powerful. 'cause we can nearly convince ourselves that X, Y, or Z has happened, our is happening.

So Absolutely. I think changing that language even is just so powerful because we know that impacts the brain, right. Absolutely. And also it impacts the brain. So it impacts your thought process, but all of our thoughts impact how we feel. So there's a direct connection between our thoughts and, um, how we feel in our emotions and also our stress levels, obviously, because it's going to impact our hormones as well.

Yeah. Just to go back to when we were talking earlier and you were talking about your personal experience of menopause and Now I totally I'm so with you on this because as most people know I'm very positive about menopause with I I do listen I've had symptoms myself, but I always kind of say once you get a handle on your symptoms.

It is such a Transformative part of your life and you mentioned that you found it, you know, fulfilling. So here's a question, Moira, at what point in the menopause timeline, where do you think, I have my views on this, but where do you think that starts to happen? Where do you think you, we move out of maybe What could be challenging?

And remember, 25 percent of women go through menopause with no symptoms. But for people who are experiencing symptoms or who are aware of the symptoms, where do you feel that maybe that started to change for you? But when I think back, um, it was almost like there were different there were different like different stages or different, you know, timeframes within it.

The first was shock. To be honest, um, and once I kind of got over that, which took, um, it took me about, I would say about six months when I say get over it to come to terms with it. I didn't get over it. It wasn't, it's not a getting over thing. I've just come to terms with it. Um, and how I came to terms with it was I went looking for anything that I could find, which there wasn't very much of at the time around, you know, menopause, et cetera, and, you know, managing.

And what I found, what I looked for was things that were more upbeat and positive rather than, because that would be just my natural way of going when I go to research or look for something. And I don't want to be a Pollyanna and always make it all, you know, amazing and wonderful. But I just knew that if I, the way I was feeling, if I want support in this, what I want to hear is, you know, how can we, Not so much get out of it, but transition or whatever.

So, so in that I, I definitely found some books that spoke a lot about the wisdom of menopause. And that word really stuck with me. Um, so that was a huge part in my transition and I'm, I'm, I'm, I can remember it so clearly. Now I didn't really engage in that part properly as in embody it, um, to any great degree until maybe.

I would say at least a year later. And then I would say that it took me a period of four to five, maybe six years to actually really embrace that. And it's happened in pockets because I go from not feeling great to, Oh, actually I'm, I'm fine. I, you know, like a lot of it too, Catherine, is to remind ourselves, you know, like all the tools that I have and, and the techniques and all the wonderful things that I'm teaching half the world.

And a lot of people might say, Oh my God, I forgot to do whatever. And I said to them, guys, I forget to, you know, we're human. We're having a new experience. So we do forget. And, and I suppose that that was again, part of the menopause. What I would really say to people is that even though there will be days where you'd be elated that you're finding all this information and you're getting help and you're feeling better about it and you're feeling empowered and then life happens and you get back into, you know, the groove of things that are going on in your life for a week.

And then you forget that you. Had the information last week, and often we can go down into a downward spiral. I think it's really, really important to watch for that. So I don't know if I've actually answered your question really, but it's kind of it, and it's been a slow burn for me, to be honest. Uh, it has been a slow burn.

And, and I think too also in a way, my transition was that there was very little to no information or not very much, and as it went on, that people are more and more talking about it. So it's almost like I'm, I'm, it's been compounded to me that yes. It is that phase where it's, you know, you know, it's really stepping into and really embodying that wisdom and, you know, and another thing that's huge would be for my age cohort.

Um, like we're kind of the end of the baby boomers. So the, the, the, like there is a, there's going to be a huge mass exodus of my age group leaving the workforce now. Um, so. So because it was a load of us, um, and the problem with that is that we don't have the young people to fill our places. And the other problem with it is that we're taking a massive amount of experience.

And wisdom with us. And I don't think the corporates or the things like the HSE and, you know, big institutions are actually tuned into that yet. And I think if they, if they're not careful that they gather all these menopausal women, um, and, you know, um, I won't say strip them of their wisdom, but, you know, support.

And that's where you're, you're so right, Mario, because if we look at that perimenopause age group, it's the fastest growing demographic in the workplace. But the key, the key is supporting those supporting women as you go through those years, because if you can support someone through the perimenopause into, into postmenopause, then basically, you know, You've helped them into that transformative next stage of their life.

But the really important part is that support piece. And I look, I think many companies are supporting the conversation, but you're right, it needs to be across the board. Um, you know, it's hugely important. You did answer my question. You did, because you said it's a slow burner and that's exactly, that would be my experience completely.

I would have found the early perimenopause years the hardest. I definitely found that the hardest. And if I go back, that was 2014, 2013, 2014, very little talk about menopause. It wasn't, it was seldom on the media. So there wasn't the awareness that there is. now and there wasn't the comfort, you know, people are more comfortable talking about vaginal dryness, about the many issues of menopause are getting more comfortable, or maybe that's just my bubble.

But I think, you know, but so I definitely found that harder now. And I, I haven't, I'm still in perimenopause, but now I would be full fledged transformative fulfilling. I'm fully there, you know, because, but I, but what I will say though, Moira is I've done the work I have, you know, I have. I've, I, I haven't, um, I haven't avoided it.

I've, whatever it's thrown at me at different stages, I've looked at it. I've delved into it. I've, you know, I've, I've been a good student, I think, of menopause. I still am. Yeah, yeah. But so I think I've kind of, I've learned a huge amount about myself as I've gone through. And I think, I think that's where there is a little bit of that icing on the cake that comes with menopause because you're, you're, you're working on yourself, but then all of a sudden you come to this kind of, you know, I dunno, I won't, maybe let's call it the summit, but you do come to the top of the mountain and you're like, I'm good with this.

I'm okay with this. I'm good with who I am. And I would definitely say. I feel very comfortable in my own skin and I would have thought I did before, but no way compared to how I feel today. You know, and that's exactly what I'd say too. That's the thing. I would have thought I was comfortable in my own skin, but nothing like, like I am today.

And another thing that's really important to say, Catherine, on what you're talking about there too, for anybody that's listening, that there really are no excuses in relation to, um, information and, you know, Applying because you said you did the work and, and some people might say, well, what's the work, but you have kind of described their symptom of calm.

Something would happen. Like we have access to so much information. There is no excuse to not at least give it a go or ask somebody. You don't have to look it up, ask somebody else or be involved with all the work that you do, turn up to the events. You know, um, and, and, and get yourself informed. There's, there really is no excuse to be not informed.

Yeah, I know that we might have, you know, problems with implementing certain things, but then there's other people around that can support with that. And one thing for me actually on the physical and, and, uh, that I had forgotten to say, I decided that I said to my GP, look, let's do a DEXA scan as well. We haven't even thought about it.

And then I realized that there was a little area where there was a bit osteopenic and like that. I inform myself and, and, and even, you know, I was being given, you know, different options about things that I wasn't, I decided I didn't want to do, but I, I like that the information is there for everybody to, um, understand what, and I also got help from you and, you know, your fabulous, um, uh, it was on your newsletter, the, the one you did on bone density.

I mean, just amazing. Amazing. I got great solace in that. Not that I want to go and tell my doctor I'm doing this or I'm not doing that, but to have that conversation and also finding that doctors and the medical, medical world are definitely a lot more willing to have a conversation. It's your opportunity.

If you're going to your doctor to be informed, you know, it's your opportunity to take your information and have that conversation. For sure. I, and I think that is, it's when you go and you have the conversation and you kind of, you understand what you're talking about. God, it just makes it, it's a complete different conversation.

It becomes a collaborative, supportive relationship between you and your doctor. And that's what it should be. And I think the key there is like, you know, I've got my personal menopause toolkit, as I always call it. So view shows everybody else. So it's just kind of bringing together an understanding. I, what's very important for me is respect as parts of this conversation, because what works for your best friend or your sister may not work for you.

So we always want to help. Don't we? You know, we always want to, Oh, it worked for me. Doesn't mean it'll work for somebody else. So it's kind of just, you know, yeah, I think support is a key part of it though. too, you know, and having, having your tribe. Um, Moira, that was so fantastic as I knew it would be, as I knew it would be.

Now, can we, in terms of, um, um, I, I put in links in the show notes where people can connect with you and so forth, but could we also maybe just, do you want to just talk about the Positivity Project? Because I have shared it before and I'd love to just share a link to it again, if that's okay. Yeah, absolutely.

No problem. Um, so the positivity project is a seven day free training that I created and offered out to the world. And I don't know, over 20, 000 people have downloaded it at this stage. And basically it is a little video every day for seven days. And the point of it is that I'm on a mission to help people and support them to be able to self regulate emotionally so that they can deal with life's challenges.

Now, the little tips, actually the black spot problem, my problem is, is in there and it's one of them. Um, but I'll bring you through it and how to actually use it. And you can use it for lots of different things. So there are lots of, uh, I can't remember how many techniques are in there, but basically, um, on set on day seven, you'll end up with one.

Web page and you have seven videos and, um, there aren't PDFs in it. There's just seven, seven, um, days with seven videos. And there are tools and techniques that you can use literally every day in any situation, particularly in situations where you might have somebody that drains your energy or somebody that might be, you know, a little bit of a, as we say, you know, difficult to deal with.

And so help you to stay in your power in that, um, wants to bring you out of a low mood, wants to, um, Change your state, put you into a better state, want to deal with problem, not problem and to understand the mind body connection and to understand the reasons why people do what they do. And when we understand that we can understand our own behavior better, but also when we understand the reasons why somebody might be doing something, it just makes it easier for us to be in a good state while we're in their company without taking on their stuff.

Yeah, no, it's, uh, and again, like I've done it. Yeah. I've, I've actually done it two or three times because you do it and then you maybe forget and you go back and do it in January or February again or whenever, but it is fantastic. It's always there. Yeah. It's always there. It's on my website. Very easy to access.

I'll put a link. I'll put a link in. for everyone. Moira. Thanks so much. And thanks for sharing so much of your own personal story as well, because like with all of us, you know, we all get a lot of support from kind of hearing that, as you said yourself, you're not alone. Absolutely. Yeah. And thank you for all the good work you're doing too, Catherine.

We all really appreciate you. Thank you and thanks everybody for listening and tune in below for the show notes and you will have information on the next episode coming up shortly. Thank you. Thank you for listening to Menopause Uprising with me, your host Catherine O'Keeffe. I really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.