‘Don’t just do something, sit there’ Ruby Wax
Yesterday I tackled a task I had been putting on the long finger - the mundane household task of sorting not one but two baskets of mismatched socks. It's funny I really wasn't too excited about this task at all :-). However I spent over an hour in the process and I have to say it was one of the calmest hours ever ! I totally lost myself to the job at hand and became fully absorbed in it - it was a very effective one hour of total mindfulness where my brain wasn't thinking of anything other than matching socks. For me mindfulness needs to work for you - we do not always need to be sitting cross legged on a mountain top, it is more effective if we can bring it into our everyday habits.
Mindfulness and/or meditation = superfood for your brain.
Mindfulness is well researched for its benefits to our wellbeing and can be used as a way to train your brain to patiently observe your anxiety. Think of it as you would a parent observing a toddler’s temper tantrum - you can observe and watch the behavior but need to remain calm and passive until the tantrum is over.
Daily routines can be used as opportunities to practice mindfulness, to focus on the present, on what is happening right now. For mindfulness to become part of your life it must work for you, it must be something you get benefit from and not something you dread. In that respect, start small, let it find ways into your life and it will work for you. When sitting in traffic, just be - for a few moments, right where you are – not on the way to somewhere, or the way from somewhere, not late, not early. Just there, in that moment.
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When we stop and sit in “the now” we can slow down what we are experiencing and take time to savour and enjoy what life has to offer. Being mindful lets our minds be present, and become clearer. The realization that this very moment is all there is – everything else is merely a thought, projected into the future or excavated from the past – is the start of
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Thich Nhat Hanh sums this up nicely when he reminded us
‘anxiety comes primarily from our inability to dwell in the present moment’.
Stress fades away and our minds become calmer. It’s all about taking life in smaller bites, not hour-by-hour but minute-by-minute. Just focus on the next 60 seconds, minute by minute.
Stop constantly doing and simply
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Begin with simple ways to be present:
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Concentrate on the process of making tea
– slow down and pay attention to the movement of your hands, the smell of the tea, the steam from the kettle, the sound of the water pouring, and finally, the taste of the tea.
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Washing your hands
– pay attention to the water, the smell of the soap, the slipperiness of the lather, the movement and sensation of your fingers and palms. Pay attention to only these things for a few moments – this is a meditation of sorts.
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Eating
: notice the textures, the colours, and the aroma of your food as well as the taste, slow down the action of eating and focus on the sensation of the food on your palate.
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Do a Digital Detox
for 1 hour during the day .
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Finally as Ruby Wax states in Frazzled:
‘My definition of mindfulness is noticing your thoughts and feelings without kicking your own ass while you’re doing it…If you treat yourself with compassion and resist obeying your demanding thoughts, they become quiet.’