A story that left me sad, angry and frustrated
A story I would like to share with you
(Sharon*not her real name )
Chatting to her Care worker after I did a talk on menopause.
Sharon identified with the symptoms I had described.
Feeling down sometimes & doesn’t know why-
Sharon: “ That’s me”
Feeling tired sometimes-
Sharon- “ That’s me”
Feeling hot sometimes-
Sharon- “ That’s me”
Feeling forgetful sometimes –
Sharon – “That’s me”
Periods changing-
Sharon - “ That’s me- they are coming sometimes”
Age of women in menopause, 45-55
Sharon - “That’s me, I am 50”
Staff: Had you ever heard about the menopause?
Sharon- “No”
Sharon has Down’s Syndrome. I received this feedback recently from one attendee and her key worker…it really made me sad, angry and utterly frustrated. At the age of 50 Sharon should have had the knowledge for years of what was happening in her body. Can you imagine the relief that would bring.
We are reminded again of how important education and training is for all people.
Over the last few years I have been very fortunate to work with many women who are experiencing early menopause and as I often say it comes with challenges that far outweigh natural menopause. And then there are women who experience menopause and have other underlying conditions that also play a huge part in this life stage, throwing further complication onto what can be a challenging time.
Don’t shoot me but natural menopause is a privilege.
There are other bigger challenges and here is one area I am devoted to changing in Ireland - the support of marginalised women. In the last 3 years I have worked with many women from the unsettled community, intellectual disability, ASD to Down’s syndrome - the hurdles faced are momentous.
I don’t type this lightly..it really gets to me.
It makes me feel incredibly sad.
When I work with these women the sessions are always warm, lively and they are so welcoming. They are all ears open clinging to any pieces of information they can gleam.
WHY?
I believe because like many women they are starved of knowledge, their care/key workers are working tirelessly to fight their case and provide the best support they can.
We need to do more.
We are failing these women.
We must support care workers and women.
Everyday.
Ah this is raw for me at the moment given I have worked closely with several groups over the last few months in particular.
What’s the solution?
We keep beating the drum, we keep raising the spotlight not only on menopause but on the support needed for EVERYONE who experiences menopause.
The care and support system required for every women will be different and for marginalised society it’s a whole different ballgame. We must educate both women and their care workers too.
Support and education for women and care workers is key
In many conversations with colleagues in Ireland and around the globe no one has been able to identify resources aimed at marginalised women. We need to change this - the education needs to expand to ALL SOCIETY and be tweaked to reach everyone.
That means the approach changes….Does every school suit the same child? No.
So education on menopause has to be tweaked.
How I share and educate in the workplace differs greatly to working with minority groups …the care, the empathy is the same but the approach differs.
This surpasses education, this extends to healthcare - investigating and delving deep in how a women is feeling and what she is experiencing will be key here. She may not be aware she is in menopause and will need the help of her care workers and her GP to navigate the challenges that she may be experiencing.
We need to ensure we are not throwing medication after medication to put a plaster on a symptom. Lifting the bonnet and taking the time to understand what is happening is key - a women being restless and twitching endlessly on a seat may not be restless/disruptive….she may be experiencing vaginal dryness and have no clue.
Medical support needs to explore when and if HRT is needed and what else can support through these years. That support has to go deep. It has to be a longer conversation to really understand what symptoms are creating upheavel.
Taking time to support and nurture all women through menopause is CRUCIAL. If not we are again failing as a community in our care and treatment for women in menopause.
*This blog while it states women is inclusive to all genders - the journey faced by non binary people again comes with added complexities and challenges. Menopause may impact all ages and all genders. That is for another blog.
